Confused… Follow Ur Heart or Ur Mind?!
December 26, 2008Now there’s a big question!! Well if its not big for you, it certainly is big for me…..
I have been placed in the position where my next move should really be based on either one. Heart or Mind!!! The best part of this whole mess up is that I have openly and honestly explained it to both parties and well they both seem to fully understand where I am coming from. So that’s awesome!
The one party is hoping I choose with my heart, and take the risk on her… I have said to her if she fully understands the risks of me choosing with my heart then I feel very comfortable choosing her. With this choice things will be tough, and may end painfully!! Ooi vey!!! This is the option my entire being is opting for right now… I have developed feelings for this girl, more than the other girl….
The other party is hoping I choose with my mind… not letting my heart over rule my mind. Based on my track record, this is the safer option for me. With this choice however there seem to be quiet a few other apparent risks.
So whats the safer option.. or do I just go on like always and stick with my ’singleness’, basically telling both girls that I don’t think it will work with either of them! Hmmm… the joys of the scape goat option!! 
Thoughts?!
Well, i am no expert. But what i think is that we make a lot of decisions based on what our minds tell us. We make logic our guide. But i don’t think we should let our minds guide us when it comes to love or even a possible love or a relationship. If you go with your heart, it may bring you a lot of future pain. Maybe more pain than you could ever imagine. But many years from now, you won’t regret following your heart. I happen to know that.
Besides don’t forget that old say: “the biggest risk in life is not taking any.
Hey Sydney!
You’re dead right… any matter regarding love, involves the heart!
I think the one thing that scares me the most regarding following my heart is not the pain I will feel, but the pain I will inflict on another… I can’t imagine the thought of hurting another!!!
Gamb, makes a good point in her post, Follow ur Heart Or Follow ur Mind?!! in that you should follow your heart to a point…
~C
Hey,
I understand that you’re afraid of hurting another but you can’t live your life not doing things because of the possible outcome. You don’t know that you’d hurt her. Sometimes our minds create all kinds of excuses to convince us not to do the very thing we should do.
I haven’t read Gamb’s post (i will later) but i don’t think we should put limits on our hearts because i believe once we do, it starts to closes and when that happens it’s really, really hard to open up to anyone again.
Sorry if my comment was long. These are just some things i’ve been thinking about lately.
Hey Sydney!
Trust me I don’t mind long comments… this kinda of discussion is awesome!
Don’t put limits on your heart! I like that! Its also very true, we don’t know the future… and we shouldn’t really spend time hedging against it. (only bankers do that)
I’ve been thinking about a lot of complex situations regarding relationships… hopefully I will make a few more post soon about those!!
Thanks for commenting!!
~C
ps. Pain I think is necessary, otherwise you wont appreciate the happiness that comes along your way!!
Its like working your way up, for example. You start with a terrible salary, but one day you will be comfortable or even rich. And you’ll be able to appreciate it, cos of where you came from!!
Hey again,
That’s very true, that pain makes us appreciate the happiness that comes afterward. You don’t know love till you know hate, you don’t know health till you know sickness and you don’t know joy till you know sadness. I guess you really have to work for things!
I wonder if after this discussion you made a decision regarding following ur heart or following ur mind!! Anyway, wish you luck!
And i forgot to say that you have great blogs here.:)
Deciding between two lovers is difficult. The reason for relationship is: benefits, benefits, benefits! Do you need to rush your decision? If not, take just 21 days, offering more benefits than your lovers give. Don’t say anything. Just start being more kind by offering small benefits, i.e., glass of water at bedtime, pick up the dry cleaning, take both of your plates to the sink, etc. Simple random acts of kindness, that don’t require any extra effort, nor time. The one who gives the most benefits back will be the most appreciative partner. We are all looking for someone who appreciates what we offer. Give it a try. You stand to gain a lot because you will know that you are valued by the partner you choose. Remember it is your choice, not your partner’s choice, to determine who you want to be in relationship with.
hey ,
I liked ur post very much & thanks very much for linking to my post….I apperciate that vey much
I liked what u said about the pain:
ps. Pain I think is necessary, otherwise you wont appreciate the happiness that comes along your way!!
U r Truly right
I just want to comment on a somthing that sydney said:
“i don’t think we should put limits on our hearts “……I shall say we should but as I said in my post ..specialy when the situation involvs someone esle than U or me!!
if we didn’t …then I think we will be called Selfish people …that we don’t mind except for Ourselves ….Someone can say “I want to be happy no matter what…let me be happy..& that’s it !! ”
There is a quote that I like so much that says “Never underestimate the Power of ur actions,with one small gesture u can affect Someone’s life: for Better or for Worth!!! ”
hope that my comment don’t bother anyone…I am just trying to help
thanks
Hey All,
@ sydney – thanks for the compliment!
In terms of finally making a decision… not yet… my decision making process is (even though based on either the heart or the mind) more complex than that.
@ jillreed – I like that idea a lot actually
Presently just looking at the benefits side of things… the first girl is definitely the better option. Obviously that is not with me having spent 21days doing things for them, but that’s looking at their track records so far! Also there is no rush at all in making a decision, I am definitely not rushing into anything… gonna take it slow and easy! Would rather make the right choice 
@ gamb – Its a pleasure! Thanks for your comment! Its people that simply desire to be happy in life, that you normally find crushing everyone in their paths… leaving a wake of battered friends and hearts.
Thanks for all the comments everyone! Seems like this is an interesting topic, that is really open to discussion!
All I can say is its a tough spot for me to be in right now!!
~C
C, well, yeah. Of course your situation is more complex than that. I wish it all turns out well for you.
gamb, I stand by what i said earlier, we shouldn’t put limits on our hearts. I am not a bad person, at least i don’t think. But i don’t think there is anything wrong in being a little selfish. It’s a sign that you love yourself and of course you can’t love anyone before we love yourself. That’s my philosophy. When we go overboard with our selfishness , people get hurt but things don’t have to reach that. All i’m saying here is that we shouldn’t do something or not do it because it might hurt someone, If we do that it would be very hard to just live. Because no matter what you do, someone always get hurt. It’s how life works. Can you find one person who never felt a little pain? at the end everyone has to take care of themselves not someone else’s. If we feel that someone is right as a life partner then we should follow our heart and not back down just because it’s the unselfish thing to do or because following our heart might or might not hurt someone else.