a cover up?!
December 14, 2011good evening cape town,
my dislike/hatred of cape town is a complicated mind f%#k of a situation. like i have said before, I am supposed to be happy right? and i guess during some situations I do find happiness… when? do I hear you ask?! well i won’t lie i love my surfing its a great distraction that gets me out into the sea (even though last week we were out when the shark sirens went off) it keeps me fit and I am not gonna complain about that. i love my girlfriend too, we get each other, we enjoy each others company. i love every minute i spend with her!
its just a damn shame i realised this morning on my way to work why i love spending so much time with her, she is a great distraction, she moves my mind, replaces my thoughts/irritations with cape town, she is a bubble of happiness that protects me from this city. interestingly she has used the bubble analogy when speaking about her time spent with me… just i had not realised how closely related my situation is to her bubble analogy. the unfortunate reality is that the bubble is destined to burst, every time she drives away from me, or i drop her off at home without a single moment of hesitation my mind snaps back to the hatred and loathing of cape town. its good that this bubble does not travel with me and cloud my judgement of this city, skewing me into some illusion of enjoyment of my time in this city!
so i sit, at work, at home, in traffic loathing where i am, loathing the fact that i currently have no real options but to stay…. kicking myself that i don’t have the guts to take the risk and throw caution to the wind and leave this place that so brings me down!
