Perfect Partner???

Have I put to much pressure and thought on finding the perfect partner… that I will sabotage all my current and future relationships as soon as I find something small enough to find fault with them?! I immediately find fault in pasts…. secondly find fault in looks, thirdly find faults in just about any other smaller aspect of their personalities!!! Am I destined to be single and alone for the rest of my life? I know its shallow, putting looks 2nd on the list!

Have I created a complex, a mental block, created a visual of some perfect person who I have put on a pedestal and no one else can match up to that?! Am I creating a dark place were I am bound to live out my life? What am I to do?! How am I to overcome this? Or have I become trapped in my own generated void, a void that is only to be filled by a puzzle piece that simply does not exist?!

I do not know where to go from here… as soon as I enter a relationship with someone, I automatically and without fault to them…. begin wondering if I am missing out on something else in life (not just in people, but in events too). This has been reaffirmed of late… I would not have met or been in the time and place to have met my current girlfriend, if I was still dating my girlfriend of 7months ago. So here I am in a relationship not even a week old, and I have begun wondering the same things?!

Or can this all be blamed on a time in my life, immaturity, or simply not knowing what I want from life right now?!

Any thoughts?!

What am I Meant to Learn?!

I sit here with the weirdest question ever on my mind!!! As for telling you the details, you will never know, coz they will go with me to my grave..

Lets just say Situation One has Factor A, but does not have Factor B… and Situation Two has Factor B, but does not have Factor A. Both factor A & B are of equal importance to me…

So far my entire life has been defined by Factors A & B, I am the sum total of Factors A & B, yet here I sit presented with two equally unbalance equations. Technically here I sit with only one Unbalanced Equation because one Situation has been removed… but in hind sight it just appears so off, that so close – in time and factors – together yet so far apart these two Situations can be!!!

Its making me beg the question… what is more important to me… Factor A, or Factor B!
Neither… they are equal… and my sum will not balance until both are met!